Birthday cake

This is not a recipe as such, more a bit of shameless bragging! You see being of the 'roast-chicken-and-veg-followed-by-apple-crumble-and-custard' persuasion, it's nice when I make a cake and it actually comes out as planned.

This one is Nigella's Chocolate Malteser Cake from 'Feast' (page 283) which is an interesting recipe in which you whisk up eggs and an indecent amount of sugar, add what is basically a hot mug of Horlicks and a tablespoon of butter, fold in a bit of flour and cocoa and bake it until it's cake. The icing has a heap of Horlicks in it too, with a bit of cocoa again for good measure and you slap it into the sponges with as many Maltesers as you can squeeze on.

For once I didn't burn it (despite it taking 20 minutes longer to cook than Nigella's recommended 25 minutes); for once it rose all the way up to the top of the tins, and for once it actually looks like the one in the picture opposite the recipe in Nigella's book.

It tasted good too, which was nice as it was to celebrate not one but three birthdays: Mum's 70th, my 42nd and Dad's 68th. Rosie wants one for her 5th birthday in December too, so I only hope that one will be as successful.

Cakes, generally, confuse me. Like mayonnaise they seem to involve some kind of kitchen alchemy that is affected by temperature and humidity as well as quantity and quality of ingredients. On this occasion, despite not having much in the way of an actual kitchen (like cupboards or sink, for example), I got it right.

Strawberry muffins

So. It's the first day of the summer holidays. Eventually we drag ourselves from our beds.

"What would you like for breakfast darlings?" I trill at my two sweet urchins, pulling on my domestic goddess apron, plimming my bosom and tossing my hair in the style of Nigella.

"A treat," demands R4.

Rightyho. Is this the way summer is to pan out? Am I making a rod for my own back? Will they expect me to cook something from scratch every breakfast time?

Ptooey, as whatshisname says in the film 'Ratatouille'.

Anyway, today 'breakfast' is a loosely applied term, it being already pretty late. Not quite late enough, perhaps, for it to have become 'elevenses', but not quite the normal crack-of-dawnsiness one would really associate with the term.

A treat it is then. I survey the wreckage of my kitchen. I say 'wreckage' because last evening Brian took out two of the cupboards, the work surface and the radiator, then dug a big hole in the floor. No matter. I have a cooker and the top of the dishwasher, so off I go.

Yesterday was Farmers Market day in Haverfordwest, and I have a large punnet of fragrant strawberries from Manorbier. Muffins are breakfasty, so strawberry muffins it is. I turn, of course, to Nigella, at breakfast-times in need of treat, so I begin with her Orange Breakfast muffins recipe from Nigella Bites, and add strawberries.

INGREDIENTS AND METHOD

75g butter

* Switch the oven on to Gas Mark 6 (200 degrees C) and pop the butter into the oven to melt (use an ovenproof bowl! Doh!). Then pop twelve cake cases into your muffin tin.

220g self-raising flour
25g ground almonds
half a teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
one teaspoon baking powder
75g caster sugar

* Combine in a large bowl.
* Rescue the butter!

100ml orange juice
100ml milk
1 large egg

* Mix together in a jug, then add the cooled butter.

Strawberries

* Not an exact science this. Start off with about 16 big juicy strawberries. Fend off small, hungry children. Fail. Chop the eight remaining strawberries into cubes.

* Roughly combine the wet and dry ingredients and the strawberries. Pile into the muffin tins.

* Any mixture that you can't squeeze in can go into the oven in the oven proof bowl you used for the butter. The children won't know about this big, flat muffin cake. Cook's perk!

* Bake for 20 minutes, until golden brown. Serve hot with butter (or, better still, clotted cream).

Makes 12 big fruity muffins (and a spare!).

Squidgy banana cake

This is one for toddlers and small children. It is based on Nigella Lawson's banana bread on page 33 of 'How to be a Domestic Goddess' but my method is slightly different. The result is a deliciously fragrant loaf cake that can be served with custard for a lovely winter pudding or eaten cold. I love wholemealy things, so can't resist adding a bit of Dove's organic wholemeal flour, but make it with all white flour if preferred. This definitely is cooking as a game you can eat!

Ingredients:

4 really ripe bananas

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

150g caster or soft brown sugar

125g olive or sunflower oil

100g plain flour

75g wholemeal flour

2 tsp baking powder

half tsp bicarbonate of soda

half tsp salt

100g sultanas

Method:

1. Scrub your toddler/small child, put aprons on everything and possibly newspaper on the floor too, according to the child's temperament. More than one toddler/child may be used.
2. Get a really big plastic bowl.
3. Peel the bananas. Throw into bowl and set toddler/child to attack. Get them to squeeze and squidge.
4. Next you need two large eggs. Give them to the children to crack into the bowl. Fish out bits of shell - use other bits of shell to pick up the fragments, for some reason this seems to work. Allow the children to feel the texture of the egg white and the slippery yolk, then break the yolk and watch the yellow run into the banana.
5. Continue squidging the mix. Add vanilla extract. Smell the yummy vanilla.
6. Add the sugar. You could reduce the amount of sugar a little as it is quite a sweet cake. Squidge!
7. Weigh 125g of olive or sunflower oil and pour in.
8. Add 100g plain flour and 75g of wholemeal flour. Squidge!
9. Add 2 tsp baking powder, half a tsp bicarbonate of soda and half a tsp of salt.
10. Add 100g sultanas and squidge until thoroughly mixed.
11. Put handfuls of the mixture into a lined loaf tin, scraping the bowl/hands/arms etc with a spatula.
12. If 100% sure about the freshness of the eggs, leave the children licking their hands and arms while you put the cake into an oven preheated to 170 degrees C/gas mark 3 for an hour to an hour and 15 minutes.
13. If not sure about provenance of eggs, try to prevent children from licking arms etc. Try!
14. Give toddler/child washing up bowl full of bubbly water and the dirty bowl and spatula and a plastic jug for 'water play' (aka 'washing up'!). Make yourself a cup of tea.
15. The cake is cooked when a skewer inserted in the middle comes out clean. Wait a few minutes before slicing and eating.

Optional:

• Add chopped plain chocolate for a choconana cake.
• Add 1tsp of cinnamon or mixed spice for a spicynana cake.